Good Day for Baby, Rough Day for Mama

Caleb had a great day today. I was having a rough time getting my butt in gear, so I didn't get down to the hospital until late. I had to drag myself to the pump and then I just felt.. bleh. Everything took 100x's longer than normal.

When I got there, my little sweetie was taking a nap. He ended up taking a four hour nap. Then he woke up and started looking around and being a little bit of a crank, but not much. He took the fact that he had to wait for food and a diaper change well (I wanted to change the stinker since I arrived, but the nurse had fiddled with his lines in his belly button so I wasn't allowed to until later). Once diapered and changed, we gave him some milk (mine!) in a bottle. He drank nearly 30ml out of 55. The rest went into his feeding tube.

After eating he was awake--so wide awake. He played with his hands, looked around, grunted a little... he was just very content to sit there and be awake and happy. That was the story of the evening. He was just a happy, content little boy!

They took him off the prostaglandon (do I spell this differently every time? hehe) completely. They wanted to give him another chance off the drug because the surgeons do not like operating on patients when they have it in their system. Not a BIG deal, but prefer not to. They want to keep his sats now between 60-100, and he sat all day off the drug in the mid-70s, low 80s. This is great. If he keeps this up, he'll have his operation next Monday.

If he has to go back on the prostaglandon, no big deal... but they would probably move his surgery to the end of this week instead. Not a hurry, but just because they would rather do it sooner than later if he's going to need any extra drugs.

Ooh, yeah, he's off all IVs altogether now.

I was a little depressed today... I was just having one of those days, I guess. Hard to get moving in the a.m., and then I was watching the nurse remove his lines from his belly button, and I just had one of those thoughts--why my baby? I wanted to take him home right there and just have a normal baby. Silly thoughts, I know. This is what we have to work with, and I know that there is a reason why Caleb came to me--probably because he knew that we would give him this chance!

Later, I was a little sad again when the doctor was telling me that after his surgery he would need to be on the vent for 4-12 days. Then, depending on how well he was doing, he would be in the hospital another 1-4 weeks after that. So the doctor told me if he was average, he would be in for at least another 2-3 weeks past Monday. I am a little scared of that time... right now it's easier because I get to hold him and interact with him and play with him. Soon, he'll be hooked to the vent and sedated, and I will just get to watch him and hold his little hand. I was wrong--waiting for the operation will not be the hard part. The hard part will be waiting for him to recover after the operation. Since he keeps getting better and better it's hard to remember that he will have to go back on the vent and be a sick little baby again.

So... mama is having a rough day today. But, that's just today. Tomorrow I'll be back playing with the little one that I love so much, and I'll be happy again. One day at a time!

Baby is having a great day today! That is the important part. I don't like leaving him, but his nurses have been fantastic. I stayed tonight until he fell asleep (he had another awake and playing period). I need to go buy little toys for him... he likes to hold things and put them in his mouth. I swear the little IV line in his L hand is the best toy the doctors could ever give him. He loves trying to shove it in his mouth, and when that doesn't work he tries to poke his eye out. I think I'd rather have him try a wrist-rattle instead of the IV.... but you know he won't love it as much. LOL